Sunday 14 June 2009

A DIALOGUE BETWEEN A 'FATHER' AND A 'SON'

Here is a true story or indeed, a true series of emails between my 'father' and I. By the way, I chose the above title as an analog to Galileo's A Dialogue of Two New Sciences which featured the conversation between the young, the present and the old Galileos. Happy reading.

The 'father' sent an email to the 'son', which goes:

I just wonder whether at the Imperial College, they are in the habitof blocking others' cars. Or maybe London is so crowded that thosewho used to study there cannot overcome the joy of parking ...


The son replied;

What the hell are you talking about? You're the one who have wrongly parked at my parking space. You should have noticed that it was designated for STC's fellow which I happened to be one. And this only makes me wonder whether where ever you come from, they are in the habit of not reading parking signage. Come on Bro, get your fact right!!!!


The 'father' replied back;

Since when UTM designate special parking spaces for dumbies like you. This whole business of designating parking spaces to certain personels is a disgarace to the academic community. I have been at UTM for 28 years, remaining here all this time with the belief that every all academics respect one another. There is no one above the other. My office is also there at C10. I have students to attend to. Since I came in and see that the space is not occupied, I claim my right to park my car there. I wll keep doing this because your deed just strengthens ,my resolve. I challenge you to take up this matter to the highest authority.


The 'son' replied further;

Dear Sir,
This would be my last email to you as things only turned out to be just another typical Malaysian scenario where the old ones have no respect and love towards the young ones but demand the vice versa. So, I just don’t have time for this.
And I am tired of hearing the old ones saying “we are here first, we have been here long enough” and things like that, but denying the facts that the young ones are the true ‘sons’ of UTM for we were ‘born’ here. As ‘sons’ of UTM, at least we should have the same right as our ‘fathers’, if not more. This is not only about the parking space, but also about our right in giving opinions, making decisions and even objections. But our ‘fathers’ have done nothing but shutting us down for so long.
And I am also tired of being treated by my ‘father’ as if I am an alien from another planet trying to destroy UTM. For reasons which I do not know, my going to Imperial College has been seen by my ‘fathers’ as a great sin. All I wanted is the best knowledge so that I can develop the ‘ummah’ by being the best teacher and scientist, but no, my ‘fathers’ see me as a threat and my going to Imperial College as an act to make them look bad.
Since your response and mentality are no different therefore it comes to me as no surprise; you are just a miniature of your generation.
But, having said all these, I like to tell you that you can park at my parking space and all the parking space in the world, for that matter. I can’t be bothered anymore.



The 'father' wrote in response;
 

Dear 'Son'
Yes, I may be old.But I consider myself young.I do not boast of my 28 years' presence at UTM just assert authority over you.No, no ...Indeed I shun authority lesser men would eagerly fight for .I shun administrative post for that can corrupt the mind-With all the perks that come with - such as dedicated parking ...I sincerely want to remain mere academic.I would have preferred to cycle to campus ...But realism grows out of cynism.I tried to send a message that those 28 years have been only tolerable because of -Respect for one another.Alas, that is rapidly diminishing.The parking episode is just one such tragedy.I have been young just as you are, before.I know what anger means.I have grown old -Not suddenly, but gradually.I have never demanded respect because of my age.Respect comes as being mutual.I never would I want a special parking space allocated to me.Never have I blocked others' vehicles just because they might seem to infringe on my right to park.I have nothing against your personal self, dear son. I teach many a young mind.You boast that you have taught 3 subjects, most of them computational in nature.I have taught more than 30 different subjects, all computational by my account.I taught FEM and loved it, well before you knew what the three letters meant.I have seen your AGF blocking others' before you did to mine.It hurt me -No matter whether those vehicles belong to my age group.I never wish you to go to Hell. But that was what your first sentence wished me in response.Your twisted logic in arguing does not reflect a sound mind, mind you.You do not need to hit at all Malaysians in order to hit me.Stop being apologetic about being Malaysians.It is also not a matter of who is here first.It is a matter of first come first serve when comes to parking.Short and simple.Unless odf course the ground bears your very name.When did I ever question your going to Imperial?Seeing this in the void means you are in urgent need to see a psychiatrist-For your own good.I have many frieds at Imperial College.And they never blocked my calrs ...But I am sick of your self-conceit, boasting of and leaning on -Reputable institutions and individuals.Yet fail to shine personally.People like bring disgrace to Imperial College -and Prof whowasit ...I wish you well, young man.Learn to grow old - gradually.One day you will learn what I am saying now.I also hope this will be my last message to you.


The 'son' wrote back;


Dear “Father”,

Today is Sunday and in the past, weekends have always been the free-reading days for me; free as in free for me to read anything from history, philosophy to Sufism (and those not related so much to computational mechanics), but like no other, this weekend has been a depressing one. What happened between you and me for the past couple of days has become a paradox occupying my thoughts; simple at first yet entangled by logic, promptly trivial but bifurcates it still.

Dear “Father”,

Let me make it up to you. I am sorry for the thing that I have said, but believe me, there will be no place but heaven I wish for you. Never, never I said “Go to hell..” but it was “What the hell…” instead. But understand you must as it was uttered as a response to a supposedly anonymous email, one which not even begins with Assalammualaikum. You may not remember it, but you did not even give salam to me in your first email or did you?. And, at 32 years of age, what option do I have but to burst with anger. I will grow old “father”, but as you said, gradually. Still, once knowing it was you “father”, there is no excuse for my behavior, so please, forgive me.

But “Father”,

After I gave it a very deep thought, I just could not do it, I can not sacrifice my principle; I just got to defend my rights. In his hadith, Rasullullah SAW said, a man who defends not his house, women and land is Ad-Dayus, Ad-Dayus, Ad-Dayus. Also, it is the most antique teaching of my mother who always said (and still saying it when she talked about politics, mind her) that, there would be no point of her giving birth to me if I am not man enough to stead-fast in defending my rights. Although the parking space may not sound so big of a right, but as a man of mathematic, you should know how important for a principle to hold, no matter how minuscule or colossal it is, as without it there will be no reasons left. It is not my fault that the parking spaces are designated to STC’s fellows, it was the decision of the Pengarah Kerja thus they are the ones you should confront, not me. As for me, as long as the ground bares the name of STC’s fellows, I will keep parking and keep blocking any cars which do not belong to the fellows of STC. It is a right that I must keep; else I would have betrayed my “mother” and for this, I am really sorry, “Father”. And one more thing....

Whatever I have written about myself, it is not for you or any other professor to read, it was written for my students who in need of a young intelectual, heroic but playful figure to spice up their lame and boring academic life. It is all rhetoric ok and I did purposedly exagerate some things. You may not agree with it but believe me, it works (you should come to my lecture sometimes). But the truth is, it is very hard for me to be proud of myself because I am a true learner, the more I know, the less I knew and for this, there is no way I can be truely proud. SEGALA PUJI HANYA UNTUK ALLAH, Alhamdullillah.

11 comments:

pawn said...

hmmm.... wut more can i say..
its just a time for the 'father' to forgive the son.

supposed the son can learn a lot from this so called 'tragedy' but how bout the 'father'?

would they?

perhaps...

respect need to be gain everyone, thats for sure..

Anonymous said...

should I start with Salam? =)
Assalamualaikum..

wow!! I am very suprised by the ending of Airil's anger like that..
Congratulations!! you did the right things..
you should keep it as you 'gradually' become old..
what you need is just a bit period of time to calm..
take your time to 'MUHASABAH' before giving any respon..

May ALLAH bless you.. insyaAllah..
Salam

Anonymous said...

Sometime when we old we always think that we a right. Like malay best quotation “we eat garam first and that why we know better than the young ones”, But believe me, the old garam is not the same in these days garam because old garam is locally but these days garam more globally. Sometime old people always ignore young one opinion just because they know everything first, but believe me if they doesn’t update what they know they are no good in given the opinions at all.

Anonymous said...

I like the 'father' . Kalau di bawa ke mahkamah pun, i think he will win.
And the best punishment to the son shall be 'belajar merendah diri dan menghormati org lain'

I like this email frm the 'father'. If the 'son' realise what the 'father' was saying about him is true and he need some 'modification' on its, then the 'son' will be a better person:

Dear 'Son'
Yes, I may be old.But I consider myself young.I do not boast of my 28 years' presence at UTM just assert authority over you.No, no ...Indeed I shun authority lesser men would eagerly fight for .I shun administrative post for that can corrupt the mind-With all the perks that come with - such as dedicated parking ...I sincerely want to remain mere academic.I would have preferred to cycle to campus ...But realism grows out of cynism.I tried to send a message that those 28 years have been only tolerable because of -Respect for one another.Alas, that is rapidly diminishing.The parking episode is just one such tragedy.I have been young just as you are, before.I know what anger means.I have grown old -Not suddenly, but gradually.I have never demanded respect because of my age.Respect comes as being mutual.I never would I want a special parking space allocated to me.Never have I blocked others' vehicles just because they might seem to infringe on my right to park.I have nothing against your personal self, dear son. I teach many a young mind.You boast that you have taught 3 subjects, most of them computational in nature.I have taught more than 30 different subjects, all computational by my account.I taught FEM and loved it, well before you knew what the three letters meant.I have seen your AGF blocking others' before you did to mine.It hurt me -No matter whether those vehicles belong to my age group.I never wish you to go to Hell. But that was what your first sentence wished me in response.Your twisted logic in arguing does not reflect a sound mind, mind you.You do not need to hit at all Malaysians in order to hit me.Stop being apologetic about being Malaysians.It is also not a matter of who is here first.It is a matter of first come first serve when comes to parking.Short and simple.Unless odf course the ground bears your very name.When did I ever question your going to Imperial?Seeing this in the void means you are in urgent need to see a psychiatrist-For your own good.I have many frieds at Imperial College.And they never blocked my calrs ...But I am sick of your self-conceit, boasting of and leaning on -Reputable institutions and individuals.Yet fail to shine personally.People like bring disgrace to Imperial College -and Prof whowasit ...I wish you well, young man.Learn to grow old - gradually.One day you will learn what I am saying now.I also hope this will be my last message to you.

The 'son' wrote back;

Butterfly said...

Salam,
Kepada Anonymous di atas,
Saya rasa terpanggil untuk menulis selepas membaca blog dr airil dan membaca respond daripada pembaca lain.
Anonymous menulis : “I like the 'father' . Kalau di bawa ke mahkamah pun, i think he will win.”
Tapi bila saya baca balik dalam blog tersebut saya tak rasa father tu akan menang kalau di bawa ke mahkamah. Ini di sebabkan fakta yang telah ditulis dalam blog tu…
“It is not my fault that the parking spaces are designated to STC’s fellows, it was the decision of the Pengarah Kerja thus they are the ones you should confront, not me. As for me, as long as the ground bares the name of STC’s fellows, I will keep parking and keep blocking any cars which do not belong to the fellows of STC. It is a right that I must keep;”
Jadi saya rasa saudara anonymous di atas tidak memahami situasi yang sebenar atau tidak membaca sampai habis tulisan blog ini. Dan dalam bab untuk menghormati orang lain
Anonymous menulis : “And the best punishment to the son shall be 'belajar merendah diri dan menghormati org lain’”
I think masalah our culture ialah bila orang tu tua yang mana dalam blog ini di panggil ‘father’ kita kena hormat membabi buta. Dan pada saya dalam dialog between ‘father’ and ‘son’ dalam blog ini mengambarkan macam mana orang tua menggunakan pengalaman dan masa beliau yang sudah agak lama berada di ‘UTM’ dalam kes ini untuk menyatakan yang dia boleh berbuat sesuka hati beliau sehingga tidak menghormati hak orang lain yang mana hak itu adalah milik ‘son’.
Dan untuk kita mengetahui seseorang itu bersikap merendah diri atau sebaliknya kita kena mendampingi orang itu, dan kita akan tau kenapa dia begitu. Merendahkan diri mesti pada tempatnya, dan memperkenalkan diri dengan memyatakan kehebatan kita bukan lah satu lambang yang menunjukkan kita seorang yang meninggikan diri. Dan seperti yang telah diterangkan oleh ‘son’ dia buat begitu untuk menjadi idol kepada students dia.
Saya berani cakap macam ni sebab saya mengenali dr airil secara peribadinya. He is smart guy, very humble and always speaks a truth and always wants the best for his students.
Saya rasa kepada saudara anonymous di atas kalau hendak memberi komen, biarlah berfakta. Jangan ambil ringkas tanpa membaca habis sesuatu tulisan seseorang.
TERIMA KASIH.

Anonymous said...

buterfly,
saya dah baca dr awal sampai akhir, lebih dr 5 kali('jgn membuta tuli')...seronok baca telatah org2 'cerdik' ni..

mmg benar si father pun salah jgk parking tpt org2 penting stc.
tp kalau si son tu tanak cari gaduh dan tak rasa dia hebat gagah berani, knp dia pg blok keter tu..parking la tpt lain...pastu kalau tak puas hati, pg cari@tunggu tuan keter(father) tu,first2 slow talk la ngan father tu...baru la gentle, cool...kalau father tu respond kuang hajaq slps the son sound secara tertib, baru la the son boleh jd hero tamil...time tu, bg pelempang pun sudah wajar...umur taruk tepi la.
tp kalau father respond dgn baik, the son pun sambut la dgn baik...kan damai dan lebih educated kalau buat camtu,barula selari dgn biodata diri the son seperti yg diceritakan.
actually son=father=rasa hebat=tanak kalah....like father,like son....skarang ni parking,ada tu bukan letak nama jabatan jer..siap tulis nama dan bin dan no keter, cth;ali bin abu jba111...kalau org lain p parking situ tader sampai ali tu pg blok, paling tinggi dia cari parking lain, pastu menyumpah seranah, pastu pg cari tuan keter yg kuang hajaq tu dan sound...at least dia tak sama kuang hajaq mcm org yg parking kat tpt dia tu.

apa2 pun, bila deal dgn org yg lebih tua , walaupun dia salah, bukan begitu caranya...kita org melayu dan itu adat kita...jgn dibuang terus adat kita dan tgk apa bangsa asing buat semuanya betul dan kita nak tiru.

butterfly,
baca email father yg sy paste kat ataih tu...byk kebenaran yg diperkatakandan the son serta kita semua boleh jdkan pengajaran dan iktibar.

Anonymous said...

.. di dalam suatu peristiwa, seorang anak remaja masuk ke istana mengadap salah seorang Khalifah Bani Umayyah, untuk bercakap mewakili kaum kabilahnya. Khalifah berkata, “carikan lelaki yang lebih dewasa untuk mewakili kaummu!” Budak lelaki itu berkata, “wahai Amir al-Mu’minin, seandainya kepimpinan ditentukan oleh faktor usia, maka di sana ada lebih ramai orang lain yang layak menjadi Khalifah selain engkau.”

dipetik dari http://saifulislam.com/?p=6164#more-6164

Anonymous said...

mcm ni la saudara anonymous. Tak kesah la saudara nak beri hujah apa2 pun. tp INGAT!!!!HAK tetap HAK..kita memang disuruh utk bertimbang rasa.sekali dua ok utk berbuat demikian, tp kalau dah byk kali, itu bukan bertimbang rasa namanya, itu PENAKUT!!!

Then lagi satu, apa kata saudara anonymous berkongsi isteri saudara dengan kawan2 yang lain.Bg la kawan2 merasa.memang la HAK saudara tp kawan2 nak 'PAKAI' juga..ala bertimbang rasa la sikit..

ISTERI = PARKING BAY????

lu fikir la sendiri!!!!

butterfly said...

Salam,
Maaf Dr Airil nak tumpang lalu sekejap.
Kepada Anonymous yang reply kat saya (10 Julai), Hmm 5 kali baca… tapi cam tak baca… ke baca bahagian yang suka je…
First sekali, ‘son’ tak tau keter tu keter org tua ke org muda. Dia Cuma letak dibelakang supaya org tu tahu kesalahan dia iaitu jangan main letak je kat parking org. And kalau nak gentlemen, kenapa father tu tak jumpa ‘son’ sebab ‘father’ macam dah kenal siapa ‘son’ sebab dia punya first email tu tunjuk dia dah kenal ‘son’

I just wonder whether at the Imperial College, they are in the habitof blocking others' cars. Or maybe London is so crowded that thosewho used to study there cannot overcome the joy of parking ...

Kenapa ‘son’ plak yang kena jumpa ‘father’ tu yang dia dari mula tak tahu siapa orangnya. Ini dapat kita tahu dari ayat ini.. dan bila dia dah kenal dia tulis macam ni:

once knowing it was you “father”, there is no excuse for my behavior, so please, forgive me.

Selain dari itu, saya rasa perbuatan ‘son’ itu lebih baik daripada tindakan saudara anynomus dalam menyelesaikan masalah parking :

Anynomous :”time tu, bg pelempang pun sudah wajar...umur taruk tepi la.”

Tapi selepas itu saudara anynomous suruh “bila deal dgn org yg lebih tua , walaupun dia salah, bukan begitu caranya...kita org melayu dan itu adat kita..”

Nampak gayanya saudara anynomous ni seorang yang tidak ada prinsip.
Dan dalam tulisan ini juga kita dapati bagaimana ‘son’ yang masih muda (32tahun as mention) tidak takut untuk mempertahankan haknya, berdepan terus dengan ‘father’ walaupun melalui email, tidak seperti kawan saudara anynomous yang meyumpah seranah dari belakang, penyataan ini penyataan orang yang tidak berani mempertahankan haknya. Dayus dan penakut… mungkin sama cam saudara anynomous.

Akhir sekali saya juga nak tanya betul ke saudara anynoumous baca sampai 5 kali.. sebab kalau baca mesti faham.. rangkaian email ini adalah metafora bagaimana masyarakat kita yang menggunakan umur untuk menentukan sapa betul dan sapa salah .. sama seperti saudara anynomous.. yang menyokong tindakan ‘father’ walaupun sah-sah ‘father’ tu salah dan menggunakan adat untuk mendapatkan hormat org lain.

Ker saudara anynomous tak faham English, sebab English ‘father’ and ‘son’ nie levelnya tinggi….

Butterfly said...

Hmm maaf dr airil nak sambung sikit…
Kepada saudara anonymous, saya tak nampak apa yang boleh dipelajari dari email ‘father’ yang saudara anonymous suruh ikut…sebab dalam email itu penuh dengan rasa keegoan orang tua yang menidakkan kewujudan ‘son’, seorang yang merasakan dia hebat hanya kerana sudah terlalu lama berada di satu-satu tempat, mempersoalkan kemampuan ‘son’ hanya kerana kononnya ‘father’ itu lebih dulu mengetahuinya. Bukankah ini scenario sekarang, dalam semua perkara pun. orang tua merasa orang yang muda itu tidak mengetahui hanya kerana orang tua mengetahuinya dulu. Ilmu itu berubah mengikut masa, begitu juga orang, kalau dulu dia tahu tapi tak semestinya sekarang dia tahu. Dia akan terus tahu kalau dia terus membaca, bukan kerana dia tahu kerana dia berpengalaman… sebab pengalaman mematangkan bukan bukti kepandaian. Lepas tu apa yang tidak kena dengan biodata ‘son’ sebab as mention dia bukan tulis untuk kita baca tapi untuk student-student dia, saudara anonymous nie student dia ker? Kalau bukan tak yah lah nak dipertikaikan…

yang dikongsi bukan biodata dia, yang dikongsi adalah pandangan dia mengenai sesuatu sebab tulah orang tulis dalam blog sebab ini zaman moden, orang tulis pandangan dalam blog, orang nak baca ke tak nak baca ke terpulang pada hak individu.

TERIMA KASIH

Anonymous said...

isk isk isk.. pasal parking pun nak gaduh ker....